service does need to be exceptional

I've been in the food and beverage industry for around 7 years now and I've done well for myself. I've made money as a server in the beginning, but recently have seen a drop in the flow of my income. As I've read many of these blogs about service and industry standards on tipping, something has come to my attention. It is me who I have to blame. Why? I realized some of the things people wrote, on why they hate feeling obligated to tip if it isn't earned, and have to agree. When a coworker or I do not get the minimum of 10% or the industry standard of 15% to 20% we tend to bitch about it in the back like it is mandatory. But we never stop to think about whether or not we gave that particular person excellent service or any for that matter. It has become so instilled in our minds that every table has to tip and forget that it is in fact an act of appreciation for a excellent service provided. We've (co-workers and I) all become lazy in our work. Instead of being thankful for every tip we do get, we complain about the few we don't. I feel horrible after reading all those negative blogs on the tipping "thing", and realize that what I do get is probably more than I do deserve. In one blog a guy felt as though it was crazy to be tipped for acts of kindness on humanity, which should be displayed no matter what we get out of it, and I agree. Maybe if more of us servers thought about that, there would be no need for blogs like these. So in closing, servers, service does need to be exceptional if you want to receive that 15% to 20%.